desperately missing the #PhD course: “Your data will be bad, we lied in every course you took by only showing good data; we’re sorry.”

Learning Objectives include

“You will never be given sufficient replicates, how to make the best of a bad situation”
Coming to terms with garbage
P=0.49 is fine actually! It’s good even!
How to interpret mediocre data—all of the plots you were never shown.